What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

My wife admitted to cheating on me with a married man. Should I tell this man and his wife that I know?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why do older people have a hard time using technology?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What do you mean son?

How would you feel if your friend confided in you that she is cheating on her husband, knowing that he loves her deeply? What emotional and ethical considerations would you grapple with in response to her revelation?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

True - how I loved my mum!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What was the hottest inappropriate sex you ever had?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”